FAKE IS FAKE

WELL I DONT POST TO OFTEN BUT SOMETIMES I HAVE TO WHEN I FEEL ITS NECESSARY! I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE FEEL THE NEED TO FORCE THEMSELVES ON OTHER PEOPLE AS IF THEY ARE DESPERATE FOR AFFECTION.I DONT UNDERSTAND HOW SOMEONE CAN BE FRIENDS OR FAKE FRIENDS WITH SOMEONE AFTER THEY BASICALLY SPIT IN YOUR FACE?WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THESE FAGGOTS?  I WAS RAISED TO BE ABOUT IT OR NOT AT ALL..I AM READY TO STOP GOING OUT TO THESE BARS AT ALL THAT WAY I DONT HAVE TO BE AGGRAVATED .I ALWAYS NEED SO MANY ANSWERS.GOD HELP ME KEEP MY TEMPER UNDER CONTROL WHEN DEALING WITH SUCH INCIDENTS OF IMMATURITY AND DESPERATION.

Double Edged Sword

I had to put this into words because sometimes i look in the mirror and i dont know the person i am looking at....I realize that for as compassionate and caring as i can be i am equally heartless.*Today i said to a friend that if he passed out on the sidewalk i would just call 911 i wont even try and revive him..That is just not right to say and hurtful at the same time..Why am i this person? I really dont want to be the person that is not so nice but at the same time i just get tired of people pushing me around because i am kind to people.Well i guess i need to find the balance somehow and come back to the nicer me.

Well time to get up on my soap box,We went out tonite and had a few drinks which was fine but quite a few interesting things happened.For starters you have to love when someone that doesnt really have any self-esteem pushes themselves on everyone just so they feel like they are liked or appreciated..*No its not me because i dont have to do such things except be myself!I spent the early part of the evening sober and watched and couldnt believe the things you realize when alcohol isnt involved.I guess when you are a skinny,bi-polarish person that hates everything about themselves except their hair its what you have to do.Anyways continuing on to the drag-show   what has ever become of this city?Once upon a time when Armageddon was on stage there used to be an appreciation for the art. Drag takes alot of investment and time and this is how people are rewared  .Now when performers go on stage it looks like they are lucky to leave with 20 bucks on a good night...Its so sad that it has come to this  We need to get it together as a gay community...

Bad Bar Night

I cant believe how the gay lifestyle has dwindled down in Pittsburgh. I met Vincent at work tonite to go out for a drink afterwards.Much to my surprise after not being at Lucky' after several months that there was really no one out.Once upon a time it was packed on a wednesday night .I was very disappointed that there was only 1 dancer and the Dj didnt start spinning until later in the evening.Why has it come down to this?Is it because of social networking and the internet that has made it so easy to meet people that you dont have to come to the bars anymore?


I am a little tired so i will have more to say tomorrow    I digress

Random Rant

I was having a  conversation with a friend of mine yesterday and we were talking about how he now thinks he has the perfect relationship and a guy that doesn't look at other bois and has only eyes for him HA! Unfortunately i had to break it down to him and shatter his bubble.

1)Men are predators
2)Men are always looking at the next dick and str8 men are looking at women
3)The full story is never told *I was told that the guy had a partner for 17 yrs and no one strayed or played

Hmm in Gay Life I highly doubt it,the story is told according to what the person wants to hear!
4)Men are always sneaky *Chatting and texting sending dirty pics and think their boyfriends dont know what they are up too
5)Gay men are always trying to get something they dont have   rather they see a couple and they want to be part of it  or just trying to F*ck half of the couple


No one is ever 100 percent committed

Talking about sex with another guy other than your partner ,making plans to have sex with another is all a form of unfaithfulness

Its a shame when u have to keep it 100 about the lifestyle because some people like to be Naive...

I think all men should be real with themselves  There is a slut in most men and they need to not try and say that there isnt

just a random rant

UGH WHAT A DAY

GOOD EVENING,I AM FINALLY HOME AND I  HAVE TO SAY THIS IS TOO MUCH OF A DAY FOR FACEBOOK TO BE ABLE TO HANDLE,LET ME TELL YINZ....I THOUGHT TODAY WAS GOING TO BE AN OK DAY BUT I GET TO MY CAR AND THERE IS YET ANOTHER $20.00 TICKET,THEN THE ASSHOLE RECIPIENTS OF NON -DESERVING GOVERNMENT FUNDS WERE OUT IN FULL-FORCE TODAY..TOTALLY RUINED ANY ENJOYMENT OF THE WEEKEND.tHEN ON TOP OF THAT BEING WORRIED THAT MY MOM HAD TO HAVE A STINT PUT IN HER HEART THANKFULLY THAT WORKED OUT.

I AM GLAD I AM HOME AND AWAY FROM PEOPLE JUST BECAUSE I NEED A BREAK!I WAS WITH PEOPLE ALL DAY YESTERDAY *THAT I LOVE* DONT GET ME WRONG  BUT I JUST NEED MY EMOTION RE-BUILDING QUIET TIME RIGHT NOW!

I DIGRESS

A MAN WITH CAHOONAS

I HAVE TO SAY HONESTLY PEOPLE ARE REALLY TRYING TO PUSH MY BUTTONS!LAST NIGHT I WENT OUT,AGAINST MY BETTER JUDGEMENT AND OF COURSE A DRUNKEN IDIOT HAD TO RUIN THE NIGHT! 1ST HE WAS INVADING SPACE, 2ND) IMPLYING THAT I AM RACIST BECAUSE I DONT HAVE AN INTEREST IN BLACK GUYS PER- SAY 3RD)IMPLY THAT BLACK GUYS DONT DRIVE 4) TO CALL ME A RACIST BUT TURNS AROUND AND TRIES TO START TROUBLE WITH A WHITE FRIEND OF MINE.. WELL I HAD  ENOUGH AT THAT POINT AND DECIDED TO PUT HIM IN HIS PLACE(HOWEVER I WAS THE ONE THAT WAS WRONG) BECAUSE HE WAS DRUNK ,AND I WAS SUPPOSED TO COWARD OUT ...ITS NOT IMPORTANT PEOPLE WERE SAYING ,CALM DOWN....WTF   SOME PEOPLE NEED TO BE TAUGHT A LESSON ESPECIALLY WHEN THERE WERE PREVIOUS PROBLEMS WITH THE GUY BEING KICKED OUT OF THE BAR..SOMETIMES PEOPLE DONT LEARN UNTIL THERE IS A FOOT IN THEIR BROWN EYE!

I HAVE TO SAY THAT MY PATIENCE IS VERY THIN! VERY THIN!

THE PROBLEM WITH QUITE A FEW GAY MEN I THINK FEEL THAT THEY ARE WEAK,THEY HAVE A DICK BUT NO BALLS!WELL THEY MAY AS WELL HAVE A VAGINA..

ITS FAR BETTER TO SPEAK UP THAN COWER OUT!

ANYWAYS THE NIGHT DID GET BETTER AFTER I CALMED DOWN A BIT AND THE WORK DAY TODAY WAS DESCENT

I AM TIRED  I DIGRESS

Off Day

Well its lunchtime and i have barely moved i guess thats why they call it a day off LOL However i think i am going to get myself motivated and at least walk to the store for Fish oil,I hear this is good for your health and ur heart.With that being said  i also need to work out  a solid plan for getting The Manor Done ,,,Ugh it kinda sucks when you are limited on funds.Pretty soon i will have to sell my ass on the streets in order to raise money*Sigh*but as the saying goes where there's a will there's a way right? The crazy thing is i do have some friends that have the know how and whatnot but getting everybody together to deliver on what they say they will help me with is challenging in itself.Oh well i will figure it out soon enough i think and i hope    I digress    Showertime

Ramble Time

Here it is the Fall already and I am settling in to a quiet evening at home with a cup of hot chocolate and my favorite tv show love it or list it...I have made a change in stores since the last time i blogged and I definately had made a change for the better.It has helped me think alot more positive about work and that helps me alot mentally.I am still keeping options open by all means but i am also satisfied as well.Now the personal stuff......I am bowling again *which i thought i wouldnt do again* but thanks to my friend Tim he convinced me to do it and so far i love it..I am working on great new friendships,keeping old ones and just loving that too.I guess thats why i dont blog as much anymore because when i originally started i had alot of issues to work thru.I think i should start blogging about the good stuff too it only makes sense...I ramble but thats what a blog is for  I digress

Sunday Morning

Well here it is another end to another weekend and I am a little tired but i had a great time.I realize every weekend how blessed i am.I love being with friends ,cultivating friendships,and making new friends.Now i have to decide what to do for today.Actually i think that Jayson and Jason are coming to see me before they head off to Erie to start a new chapter in their lives.I actually think i need a new chapter as well or at least turn the pages so that i can get to the next chapter whatever that may be.I know that my Home is a big part of a New Chapter and that where a main part of my focus should be....Also I need a new Career..This one just doesnt do it for me anymore.I really feel i have lost the part of me that made me one of the Best Managers,*Which is I am not nice anymore* I feel the need to be a Bitch before i am actually nice to someone and that is so not cool and i know it! ..My David has thrown out some options of career choices *Paths i can travel* so i need to make some decisions.

LIfe is strange

It has been awhile since my last post (once again) I really havent had anything to complain about ,but i guess one would say well why dont you write when there are good things happening? I would agree with that..I have been making things happen..I have been increasing the number of friends i have,Charmed manor is coming along as i become more focused,Vince and I have move to a new store front/apartment.I have to figure out my next move for employment tho...its the last thing that is really holding me back...anyways oh i forgot a few negative things did happen to me over these past few weeks   I had to replace a fuel pump in the car and then after i had it back for a week   i was out at the bar and someone through a brick through my passenger window,Sigh but inspite..inspite i kept a very cool head about the whole thing.I actually puzzled my friends that i was so calm...i am growing mentally,and i contribute that to having supportive friends and Vince.I have to admit i love this new apartment with the exception of parking its very relaxing.....i have slept so much better since being here...Well i am going to say   I digress