Sunday Morning

Well here it is another end to another weekend and I am a little tired but i had a great time.I realize every weekend how blessed i am.I love being with friends ,cultivating friendships,and making new friends.Now i have to decide what to do for today.Actually i think that Jayson and Jason are coming to see me before they head off to Erie to start a new chapter in their lives.I actually think i need a new chapter as well or at least turn the pages so that i can get to the next chapter whatever that may be.I know that my Home is a big part of a New Chapter and that where a main part of my focus should be....Also I need a new Career..This one just doesnt do it for me anymore.I really feel i have lost the part of me that made me one of the Best Managers,*Which is I am not nice anymore* I feel the need to be a Bitch before i am actually nice to someone and that is so not cool and i know it! ..My David has thrown out some options of career choices *Paths i can travel* so i need to make some decisions.

LIfe is strange

It has been awhile since my last post (once again) I really havent had anything to complain about ,but i guess one would say well why dont you write when there are good things happening? I would agree with that..I have been making things happen..I have been increasing the number of friends i have,Charmed manor is coming along as i become more focused,Vince and I have move to a new store front/apartment.I have to figure out my next move for employment tho...its the last thing that is really holding me back...anyways oh i forgot a few negative things did happen to me over these past few weeks   I had to replace a fuel pump in the car and then after i had it back for a week   i was out at the bar and someone through a brick through my passenger window,Sigh but inspite..inspite i kept a very cool head about the whole thing.I actually puzzled my friends that i was so calm...i am growing mentally,and i contribute that to having supportive friends and Vince.I have to admit i love this new apartment with the exception of parking its very relaxing.....i have slept so much better since being here...Well i am going to say   I digress

Whirlwind weekend

I honestly have to say it was one hell of a weekend,after finishing up a long 51 hour work week...Christmas eve was spent with Vince and his family and then Christmas morning much to my surprise we received devastating news...my moms best friend passed away overnight.It was so heartbreaking to see my mom so upset.It is horrible to lose a best friend,I really just had started to get to know her so well after spending lunch with her and my mom everyday.So Christmas weekend wasnt as enjoyable as it could have been.I miss her already,lunch wasnt the same without her laughing with us .I could still hear her voice and her laugh.She is still that alive in my heart and head.I cant believe we just had lunch together friday afternoon..SO sad.I just hope she wasnt in pain when she went home to god.I hope that her sons can find peace in knowing they had a great mom .I think i have wrote enough for now because i am starting to feel emotional     I digress

Charmed Manor

Well i have to admit so many changes have been happening at such a fast pace its hard to keep up.The holidays are here,I have my house (Charmed Manor) to work on and my mind is just spinning in 50 different directions.  I never expected to have my house back after fucking up so bad and just walking away from it ,unfortunately now I have 2 yrs of catching up to do ...I am really coming down so hard on myself because i let it get to the point where i trusted people to do right by me and that didnt happen...But however now i am back and getting better than ever strong willed and never making the same mistakes again...I actually cant wait to put the holidays to rest so i can do what i have to do to get myself motivated to rebuild Charmed Manor...

Good Things

Well i havent written in my blog for a long time and so many things have happened.I made it through Thanksgiving and just waiting for Christmas to come and go as well.However cutting to the chase of one of the most amazing things that has happened.I have my home back after moving out to leave it to my ex for him o have a place to live ,so i could be with my current..I screwed myself for 2 men however in the long run i was able to recapture what i lost.I am very excited .Also i had one of the most amazing weekends making new friends and learning new things now time to keep pushing forward.

WHere are my dreams!

I woke up this morning after a good nights sleep that doesnt come all that often and i had this empty feeling,It wasn't a bad feeling or a whoa is me feeling but I just asked myself why dont i have any dreams that i want to achieve.Once upon a time i had the american dream and i dont really anymore and now i feel a little lost.I just feel empty.I have discovered something about myself that i have been doing a long time but didnt know the right terminology for it until i was watching Deal or No Deal the other night.Its called Paying it Forward...I honestly think i have been doing it for so long (Its a great thing) but there really isnt any me anymore.That is a huge part of me however has it left me at the point that the half of me that needs to live for myself sometime just gone?I am the biggest critic of myself.I dont really know how to live for myself,go out find my own dreams,.Guiermo My *Bestest Friend* is teaching me alot without knowing he is teaching me alot.Its always an adventure hanging out with him no matter what it is is never a dull moment.He is the white version of me....That really didnt have anything to do with the blog but it hit me while i was writing so it went to my finger tips lol. I hope to find my own dream soon   I digress

Getting some prospective

Good Morning ,I havent blogged much lately because i am pretty mellow yellow right now.I am on staycation and loving it so far.It was a beautiful weekend even tho i had to be there for Guiermo when he put down a family pet.It was a ruff moment but a bonding experience plus i know he would do anything he could for me .I am starting to get really anxious by the fact that we are moving sometime over the next few months.I still feel unsettled .I expected not to move around alot once i moved into my house but here i am ....I also know that this isnt a stationery move .I lik eliving in a house doing whatever and being able to do whatever i want to the place .Oh well it will come again because thats where my heart lies ,eventhough i have no problems with our apartment now but i know what i prefer.Anyways i have finally started to decide on how i am shaping my financial future and what needs to happen to make it alot more secure for myself.(A huge Plus) I guess i should decide soon what i want to do today  Mall shopping possibly with The G and V maybe go see Tim j My buddy ..We will see I digress