Holding back the tears...

Its such an effn emotional time right now  what the hell is going on??/ I have finally found some happiness for myself... but all at the same time i have friends in great pain......I just found out tonite that a dear friend of mine lost his mom  which she was like a mom to all of us...She was a  beautiful lady with a fun loving spirit...She laughed with us partied with us and moreless not just a mom but a friend...Even tho i havent seen her in years its so hard to say goodbye...Death is a part of life but why does it have to hurt so damn bad.....I dont even know what to say to scott even tho i know i have to call....Sigh  I need to get some rest i am not thinking clearly righ tnow