Torn

I am about to celebrate a 42nd birthday tomorrow but it feels so weird to try and be happy when people around me are so sad.....I have so many emotions running through my head right now.....On 1 hand i am happy because i had a great visit today from the Vp of stores ......I am sad for Vince because of his best friend was taken ill suddenly and i know that is hard....I am nervous about taking on a new part time job even tho i dont want to...I am building a great new friendship that is so much fun for me it takes me away from the rest of the problems..Everything is sooooo overwhelming its beyond belief...then on top of it i dont sleep because of i constantly worry about my mom not that she is ill but just because...So it takes it toll...The saying goes that good black dont crack but i know if i continue on certain paths i will age not so graceful anymore and thats the last thing i wish to happen.....I guess for now i have to hold onto the 1 true piece of happiness that i have been holding so dearly right now and its all mine so i cant even share it on my blog...I digress